Stoner Sex: Makeup Passion, That Time of the Month, Pregnancy & Weed-Crazy Partners

Dear Hyapatia,
My boyfriend and I had a big fight and we didn’t have sex for almost two weeks. He finally apologized, brought me flowers and took me out to dinner. The sex we had that night was the best we’ve ever had. Why is that? Was it because it was makeup sex? Or was it because we had gone so long without? I want to be able to have sex like that again. If holding off for a little bit is all it takes, I’ll do it! – Jessica

Dear Jessica,
It was probably a combination of makeup sex and abstaining for a while. Both can make sex more exciting. My guess is that you were also thankful for the flowers, dinner and his apology. That also helped make things better in bed. With sex, the more we give, the more we get. Our energy comes back to us full circle. Holding off from sex for a while is always a good way to make things better the next time. (Kind of like not getting high for a few days; you seem to get much higher on just a little weed when you do toke up.) Remember, eroticism exists in the mind. You can create passion. Set the scene. Try to achieve the same effect with a night of pampering each other with massage, good music, great herb and perhaps some unique, sexy gifts for each other.

Dear Hyapatia,
I love sex with my lady. She’s every man’s dream. It never bothers me when it’s her “time of the month.” I’m just as turned on to her as ever, but she doesn’t want to have sex with me then. I’ve tried to make her feel comfortable and let her know it makes no difference to me. What can I do to make her feel like she can trust me to not be grossed out and have sex with me? – Cooper

Dear Cooper,
It probably has nothing to do with you, dear, and everything to do with how she feels during that time of the month. You could be Prince Charming arriving on a fine stallion and it wouldn’t make any difference. We women are very physically uncomfortable during our cycle and sex makes things worse. It increases the pain of cramping, particularly if we climax, and our breasts are too tender to be loved. Let your lady have her few days a month to pamper her body with rest and relaxation. Bring her some hot tea, a heating pad, some Kleenex and watch a movie with her. You may be surprised how much affection she shows you the when she’s back in prime condition.

Dear Hyapatia,
I’m a very sexually active and open-minded young woman. I’ve been in a committed relationship for almost three years now. Family members and some friends keep asking me if we’re going to have children. I suppose I’m not getting any younger, and I am pretty serious about this guy. To be honest, he has mentioned it, too, and it has me thinking. Will I have to give up sex during pregnancy? I don’t feel comfortable asking my doctor this. I don’t want him to think I’m a freak or stupid or something, but I want to know before I get myself into this. Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy? What about getting high? – Michelle

Dear Michelle.
In a normal pregnancy, sex is perfectly fine. It even helps with softening the cervix in preparation for labor. It can also start labor if you go past your due date. When inducing labor, doctors put prostaglandin on the cervix, which is found in semen. (You’re charged lots of money for it.) If for some reason you don’t have a normal pregnancy, sex may be limited. Abnormal pregnancies are rare and not all of them require limiting sex. There is lots of new information on cannabis use during pregnancy becoming available all the time. Women have used it for centuries during pregnancy – as I did. And my son is perfectly healthy with a PhD in physics. So I don’t think it held him back by any means.

Dear Hyapatia,
My man is weed-crazy. He won’t do anything until he gets high. He puts it above everything else. If we don’t have weed, he doesn’t care about anything. The house could be falling down around him, but all he wants is a blunt. I love him, but I’m at the end of my rope! I don’t know how to get through to him that pot has to come after the bills and food. How can I get him to think logically? – Steph

Dear Steph,
For some people, cannabis is a medicine that helps them to function in life. I don’t know if this describes your boyfriend or not, but if pot is that important to him, it may be because he uses it as medicine to help him cope with life. Mainstream society probably prefers that he spend lots of money on doctors, therapists and pharmaceuticals that are approved, regardless of their debilitating side effects. But I believe cannabis is a far better alternative. For him, cannabis may be just as important as bills and food. Would you deny a diabetic his insulin over food and electricity? It may seem like a tough call, but if he has his medicine, he’s productive and makes money to pay the bills and buy food, right? More studies are proving that cannabis is extremely helpful for PTSD, ADHD, depression and a host of other issues. Could he perhaps grow his own to save money?

Ask Hyapatia all of your questions regarding stoner sexuality. Email her at

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